Spice Rack, Part 2

well, my pallet wood spice rack didn't come together as i had hoped. there was just too much 'correcting' to be done to make the wood square and the rack was twisted so i am going to relegate it to displaying Gabe's rock collection or something.

starting over, this time i picked out some straighter salvaged wood from the slats of an old bed frame. these started out in much better shape so that was a big plus.

i started by trying to joint one edge to get that reference edge to make all my other edges straight. i used my router mounted to the router accessory table of my table saw and offset the router's fences with a flush trim bit in the middle. the first pass on the first piece came out OK, but there was a crook that the router had cut into the wood. i adjusted the fences and tried again but still not straight. well, after several tweaks and several attempts, the wood was getting worse. on top of that, the router fence was getting mangled. so much for that!

plan B was to use a straight guide and the router in hand to cut the edge i wanted into the working material. i knew i couldn't cut all the way across the piece of wood as the clamps would get in the way. i did as much as i could do in each pass and ended up with several very usable pieces. success! this was a much better start than the pallet wood so i was optimistic.

now that i had my true edge, i cut the ends off the material so i'd have a full straight edge on all the pieces. i did this using my table saw. pieces that were too long to move along the saw (fence and makeshift work table in the way) i cut with a circular saw before running through the table saw. this left me with several boards of various length that all had one true edge.

next i cut all the boards to length again using the straight edge as my reference edge and getting my sliding miter sled as square as possible to the saw blade. i cut two at a time so i didn't end up with several close, but not same, lengths of wood. i still ended up trimming a hair off two of the pieces. now i had my three (theoretically) straight edges so it was time to rip to width.

i had already waxed all the contact surfaces of my table saw as i had serious binding issues with the last spice rack when ripping. that led to a bunch of stuck wood with burned edges. this time, with straight edges running along the fence and a slick work surface, the wood flew through the saw beautifully. i now finally had my final pieces and they were a ton straighter along all the edges than the pallet wood.

it was time to sand so i took my random orbital sander with 80 grit to both surfaces of each piece until i was satisfied with the look. i guess i need some practice as all the pieces came out with slightly ground down edges. oops. i stopped sanding here as i didn't know what i wanted to do as a finish. i decided to assemble for now.

using clamps, spacers, and the work table, i predrilled countersunk holes for some coarse screws and glued and screwed everything together. i used pre-cut identical 6-inch pieces of wood as spacers between the shelves and everything came out looking good. the rack is slightly out of square so a 1/4-inch piece of plywood may be in order for the backing.

so that's where it is for now. Kristen wants front pieces to prevent jars from falling out. i kind of like the way it looks, though. next chance i get, i'll cut some strips of wood to use as guard rails and think about the finish so it doesn't get hammered too badly. until then...

Spice Rack, Production

i'm building a spice rack for Kristen. well, for both of us, really. currently, our spices reside in a cheapo, fabric-covered bin hidden under a cloth in a rolling cart. all the lids look the same so i've marked a few, and the others we guess at until we find what we're looking for. very efficient. we received a case of spice jars for our wedding almost two years ago and they're still sitting, unused, somewhere in the basement.

the idea to build a spice rack from pallet wood has been fermenting in my brain for quite a long time. in fact, i probably have sketches of various versions all over the house. what got me going finally, was the brutal spring and summer we had at work. absolutely nothing got done around the house on my end, so i pushed all my projects to the fall and winter and have been looking forward to it.  my table saw has been sadly neglected in the basement and i've acquired a few more tools so no time like the now time!

i started by picking out the best-looking pallets to dismantle. the used pallets i get from freight trucks generally look like shit, so i pretty much took the best of the crap bunch. using a deck wrecker, i pulled all the slats and knocked out all the nails which isn't too bad a task except it takes some time.

from the pile of wood that i had collected, i selected the straightest, cleanest pieces to use for the spice rack. again, this was pallet wood so i was picking the least ugly of the ugly bunch. i was fine with this, though, as i knew i wanted to keep a little of that reclaimed wood 'charm' that i see on Etsy and Kristen's Pintrest thing so much. some day, if this turns out well, i might end up selling expensive stuff on the internet too.

since both ends of the wood all had nail holes and splits, i cross cut the ends off using my table saw. just enough to take out the cracks but keep most of the wood. then i setup my router on the table and, using a flush trim bit, jointed one side of each piece of wood. this would be my reference side. with my miter sled square, and one edge of the wood nice and flat (by my standards), i measured and cut each of the pieces i needed for the frame and shelves.

this left three sides done on each piece of wood so i setup the fence to rip each piece at 2 1/4 inches -- just big enough for the fattest jars we have. so all the main pieces of wood are cut and ready for some quick rough sanding before assembly. i'll use a 6 inch piece of wood as a spacer so the shelves are the same height, then use the cutoffs from the rip cuts as front pieces to keep the jars in place. for the back, i'll decide when i get the whole thing assembled. i might close off the entire back, or use larger pieces behind each shelf; we'll see.

part 2 and pictures to come.

silence

Saturday was my day off even though i went in early to finish a repair. Kristen went to work at noon and i was alone with the kid until late in the evening. i started the process of going through the pet bin where we keep everything pet related. Sam's old harness was in there. he chewed through it when i made the mistake of leaving it on him too long. one of many things that met an untimely demise by Sam's teeth. his puppy harness was in there too, in tact. that i'm keeping. there was also one of his flexy foam bones he loved so much in there with one of the tips chewed off, squeeker broken, foam hanging out. keeping that one. then there was various junk that may come to use for another dog so that will all go to someone else.

outside in the stairwell was Sam's pulling harness. i want to keep that, but it would serve someone well. Sam looked so slick in that harness and loved to pull me along on the bike. he'd look like an Iditarod dog loping along in front of me. also found some poop bags and more toys to give away. found even more toys in the corner of the kitchen. ones he never had an interest for. then finally a Kong ball in the cab of my truck. that thing would bounce forever and i was afraid, sometimes, that i'd throw it so far that my dog would never come back.

Sam's food bucket's been sitting in the same spot at the edge of the kitchen. i packed his half empty bowl into the bucket Friday when we got home since i pass by it so much. just can't look at that anymore. the bucket it still half filled with his food.

then i got to the business of taking care of the baby and trying to go about my day. the silence in the apartment was deafening. i could hear every car go by, the wind blow in the trees, house creaking. it was driving me mad so i turned on the stereo but that didn't help much. the baby kept me distracted somewhat and a friend called to break the silence for a bit. but ultimately, the fact that Sam's paws and collar are no longer here was almost too much to take. i took off and took Gabe for a stroll and visited Kristen at work. we came home and it was a relief to not have to be listening to that silence anymore.

guard dog

i feel like Sam was Gabe's guard dog. Sam was right there when Gabe was born and i feel that he made sure the baby and Kristen were OK and that, in the weeks following Gabe's birth, he made sure mother and baby stayed OK. then he felt his job in life was done and it was time to move on. your time here was way to short. thank you, Sam, for watching over my babies. i owe you.

stars

i went in to work at 6:00a to finish a repair i started Friday. it worked out b/c i was already awake and it would get me back home with plenty of time for Kristen to get ready for work. when i got out, it was 8:15a and sunny. the sun was still fairly low in the sky directly in front of me most of the way and there was some kind of pollen floating around. it looked like really fluffy snow. anyhow, when i passed Bishops Corner and then Trout Brook there was a school on my right and blowing across 44 like a blizzard was that fluffy pollen, bright like little stars in the sun. playing on the iPod was Neil Young's Truth Be Known from Mirrorball. the song nears an end with the lyrics, '...And your song meets a sudden end'. i smiled a sad smile and turned onto Steele and home, Sam in my thoughts.

I Hate Snow

'WINTER STORM WARNING REMAINS IN EFFECT UNTIL 3 AM EST SATURDAY...'

sweet! i'd been watching the weather forecasts for Friday almost constantly for the past few days in anticipation of our first dumping of snow. previous snowfalls had been rather pathetic and Sam, The Dog was itching to play in some 'pow-pow'. the weather sites called for 100% chance of snow starting at 10a becoming heavy in the afternoon up to 8 inches stacked. perfect.

Thursday night i considered piling a bunch of water jugs into the bed of my truck to help with traction. i dismissed this idea thinking the streets would be plowed just fine. Friday morning was cloudy and cold so i headed into work as usual (late). all day i stared out the windows and there was nothing. it was past 1p and there was nothing. i cursed and started making plans for lunch to take my mind off snow.

sometime around 1:30p or so, my boss yelled at me from the top of the shop stairs to help outside and i could see it coming down hard. yes! we packed up and continued to work. and it continued to snow. we had several inches on the deck and shoveling was useless. i shoveled a bunch of snow into the bed of my truck again wondering if i should have weighed it down some. the snow was too fluffy to make a difference but the shoveling was good exercise.

a little after 3:00p, we decided to close up and head home so Steve and i made plans to play in the snow later. this was gonna be fun!

so i brushed off my car and started to head down 44 toward Avon Mountain. in retrospect, i could compare it to Frodo heading to Mount Doom to drop the ring off in the pit of fire. difference being i am a lot taller than Frodo, i don't have hairy feet, i don't have a ring, there is no pit of fire that i know of, and my friend Sam is a dog who, unlike faithful Samwise, would NOT lift a paw to save me from drowning.

going was slow but easy all along 44 through Canton and Avon but i noticed my driver side windshield was collecting ice. no problemo, i thought, and cranked up the defrost. there was little traffic and i made it to the base of Avon Mountain (Mt. Doom) and this is where i, like Frodo, almost met my demise (albeit with all my fingers in tact).

right from the getgo i lost traction as the hill steepened sharply and the rear of my truck fishtailed to the right but i kept it straight for the most part. momentum is your friend in these conditions and i was without any friends. in order to keep traction, i had to slow it down but every single time i hit the gas i started to get wonky. so combined with the steep uphill, i was not in a good position. every time oncoming traffic approached, i hoped my truck would stay in my lane and if it didn't, that death would come swiftly, and if i died, that i wouldn't poop or pee in my pants, and if i did, that no one would take pictures.

the road leveled for a bit (not really) then got steep again and here is where i honestly thought i would start sliding backwards. my car would not go forward at all -- only sideways. i was in a bit of a jam and considered just pulling over to let the two cars behind me pass, but if i did that, i knew for sure i'd be paying for a tow off Mt. Doom. and how would that look to the other Hobbits? CHARGE!!!!

at this point, a voice in my head said 'use the force', or something like that, and i just gassed it and regained good traction and got the sled up to warp speed and over the crest of the hill. relieved to say the least, albeit blind from all the ice on my windshield. i spent the rest of the drive home leaning in the passenger seat to see the road, cursing the snow.

in the end, i made it home just fine and Sam, The Dog, loved playing in the snow. he lost his toy, though and it's probably lost until spring. asshole.

KFC's Variety (Not-So-Big) Big Box Meal

for the last two or three months, they've been putting up a KFC/Taco Bell across the street from work. as soon as i found out that KFC was going up, i began joking that i was gonna be first in line to order the giant Variety Big Box Meal stuffed full of chicken and chicken accessories that i'd been seeing on TV. i stared out the window, across the street for months waiting in giddy anticipation...

well, the place finally opened for business earlier this week but i didn't catch it in time and wasn't the first in line. but, today was gonna be a long day so i waited til my stomach was about to collapse from starvation and headed over to get my giant box of chicken.

when i arrived, i didn't see the Big Box Meal on the menu and thought, 'what the hell???'. after a few more frantic seconds, i did find what i was looking for in the lower left of the menu. $6.99 for leg or thigh, chicken strip, biscuit, popcorn chicken, two sides, and a drink. i couldn't believe this place could stay open selling that much food for that little a price!!! they had to be going broke!!!

while i was searching for my Big Box on the menu, this fat lady and her son or short lesbian lover (i think it was a son), tried to cut in line but a lil bit of the ol stink eye straightened her out and i was up. i placed the order for my meal with mashed potatoes and potato wedges as my side and filled my cup with Mountain Dew as i waited.

since i ordered a couple tacos for my coworker (who foolishly declined to participate in the oncoming orgy of chicken foods), i went to grab some mild Taco Bell sauce but there was only one left in the self-serve sauce tray. my coworker specifically asked me to 'grab a handful of that mild crap' so i asked one of the workers for some mild sauce and she handed me several packets but totally ignored the sauce tray. i thought that kind of slackedness didn't come until the grand opening was long gone, but i guess these workers have been trained well right off the bat. bravo!

a blonde teenager called my order number and tossed the LARGE bag of food on the counter and left, so i snatched it and scurried back to work hardly able to contain myself.

i tossed the two tacos out of the bag and set my Big Box box on a flat surface that i was sure could support the mass of chicken and a soft drink. as i was sure i'd need them, i set aside half a dozen napkins to wipe my face and hands from the explosion of food that was about to happen. then i opened the box...

and my heart sank. occupying a majority of the Big Box was air. i mean, there was so much empty white space in there that you'd think this was some pretentious art school project. in one corner was the mashed potatoes in a styrofoam tub with the potato wedges floating in a tasteful white border in the corner above. in the opposite corner of the mashed potatoes was the only portion of chicken of substance, the popcorn popper things. below the popcorn popper things were the shriveled, pitiful chicken strip, and an equally anorexic-looking chicken leg. missing from the Bad News Bears in a Box was my biscuit. cocksuckers! they left out my carbs! sigh. i asked if anyone wanted to order Chinese food but my fate was sealed. i had to do the deed.

let me fast forward and say that the food sucked, as it would have even if it looked like the picture of the box overflowing with piping hot, succulent pre-pubescent, original recipe-, and crispy-fried chicken parts that they show on the KFC website. no getting around that. the popcorn popper things were the only decent part of the meal. oh, the Mountain Dew too.

all my coworkers gathered 'round and laughed at me as i ate all the food in one bite. let's just say i learned my lesson. what that lesson is specifically? well, many, i think. first, fuck KFC. they suck. they should let their miserable chickens grow up before they fry them. next, they need a fucking person holding a goddam checklist to make sure the biscuit goes in the basket. also, they could save some trees by making their Big Box not-so-big. it's like buying Magnums if you're Asian -- FORGETABOUTIT!. you don'd need em! uh, and i guess in conclusion, time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.

The Furmination of Sam, the Dog

so here i was, browsing Cabela's website for a dog crate since we're about to take a trip with the dog. i gave Sam's old crate to my friend before moving (doh). another friend gave me a $30 gift card to Cabela's and since they have huntin' stuff and stuff, i decided to look there. well, i didn't find anything useful as far as dog crates, but i did come across something called the Furminator.

basically, it's a very expensive undercoat comb. it's expensive because it's apparently built solid and has a very stout tine section which is replaceable. i read the reviews on Cabela's and other sites including Amazon. everyone seems to love their Furminator. i just like the name, Furminator. so much so that i kept telling Kristen that i was going to 'Furminate' the pets in a Arnold Schwarzeneger voice. i was saying it about twelve times a day for the past week.

anyway, the Furminator is not cheap compared to the disposable brushes at PetSmart and such. about $50 retail. no way i was gonna pay that much so i researched and found it much cheaper and ordered both a dog- and cat-size. it was a long four days waiting for my Furminators to arrive in the mail. when they showed up at my workplace, i finished my shift and sped home to destroy the pets.

i started with Noodle and had good results, but not the giant carpet of fur that's shown on the package. i moved on to Sam and the Furminator made good on it's promises. so much so that i had to quit as i was inhaling fur and my arm was getting tired. we filled a shopping bag full of fur and vacuumed the rest. Sam has been shedding lately and there was plenty of loose fur to build him a cozy bed. the awesome part is that there is more left to Furminate. the awesomer part is that Sam's coat looks much smoother, but at the same time, fluffier. the awesomerest part is that there won't be so much dog hair all over the furniture and my clothes.

this thing couldn't be better unless it had a gun of some sort attached to it. or a fountain pen or something. it does look like a small cock and balls, tho, if you run out of things to Furminate and are into that kind of thing.